Useful advice for creating a wedding guest list

Before sending out invitations, first you need to determine who to actually send them to! Defining that can be quite a challenge. You want to have all your family and besties around you on your special day, but you also don’t want to go over the budget inviting literally everyone. Then again, you don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings by not inviting them, and at the same time you want to avoid having to pay for very distant aunts and uncles you’ve seen once or twice when you were a kid.

How to balance all of that? Look no further than these pieces of advice!

Kids at your wedding

The general assumption is that you marry when you’re stable both financially and romantically. That means a lot of the people around your age you’ll want to invite will be parents. 

Here’s where the dilemma starts. Do you want kids at your wedding? 

Pros of having kids at your wedding

1. Some parent guests might not be able to attend if there’s a ‘no-kids’ requirement. Such a caveat would require them to get a babysitter, which is not always an available option. Allowing kids at your wedding is a thoughtful gesture that will make it more accessible to all the guests.
2. Kids add a lovely family-friendly atmosphere. During an event that celebrates love, that can be a beautiful and heart-melting addition!
3. Attending a wedding can be a great opportunity for kids to learn about how to behave at formal social events.
4. Kids are naturally easy at making friends. If there are other children involved, it’s a chance for them to meet new pals and play in a completely new setting.
5. Children can make their own fun and they likely won’t have to be babysat.

Cons of having kids at your wedding

1. Wedding parties usually last long into the night. Kids may easily become tired and cranky, disrupting the celebration.
2. Children can run around, damage decorations or break glasses.
3. The presence of children will likely force your wedding down a kid-friendly avenue. If you your reception to be a wild party, you might want to avoid that.
4. Kids mean additional costs and possibly extra food options (chicken tendies and mac and cheese anyone?)
5. Children are adorable and make great photo opps. If you want the day to focus solely on you, you might want to avoid the little guests that can ‘steal the spotlight’. That can make for awkward wedding photos!

How to say no to kids at a wedding

Saying ‘no’ to kids at your wedding might come across as rude. But it usually all depends on how you communicate it! Make sure to be empathetic, concise and respectful. If you want, you can suggest an alternative, such as helping to find a babysitter. It’s also a good practice to briefly explain why you don’t want kids at your wedding.

Normally, you’d want to inform your guests about a ‘no kids’ requirement in the invitation. Here are top 5 ways to communicate that:

1. “We kindly request that our wedding reception be an adults-only affair. We appreciate your understanding and look forward to celebrating with you.”

2. “To ensure that all guests can fully enjoy themselves, we are having an adults-only wedding reception. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and thank you for your cooperation.”

3. “Please note that our wedding reception is for adults only. While we adore children, we kindly ask that you make other arrangements for their care so that everyone can enjoy the festivities. Thank you for your understanding.”

4. “We have chosen to have an adults-only wedding reception to create a more sophisticated atmosphere for our celebration. We appreciate your cooperation in making this a memorable occasion for all our guests.”

5. “We respectfully request that our wedding be an adults-only occasion. We hope you can make other arrangements for childcare so that you can join us in celebrating this special day. Thank you for understanding.”

Alternatively, if you don’t want to say a definite’ no’ to kids at your wedding, you can ask for them to only be present during the wedding ceremony. That will leave the party for the adults!

How to narrow down your wedding guest list?

Not receiving a wedding invitation can be a touchy subject for many people, no matter their relationship to you. Make sure that in all cases, you communicate respectfully.

Create several guest lists

Yes, categorizing potential guests into tiered lists might sound weird! However, it can actually help you pick the guest lineup you’re most happy with and fits within your budget. The ‘A List’ can have your closest family and friends, the people you wouldn’t imagine this special day without. ‘B List’ may contain people such as coworkers, acquaintances and distant family.

Will you allow plus ones?

It’s a common courtesy to allow your in-relationship guests to bring a plus one to a wedding. That can, of course, extend to your single guests as well! Someone might want to bring their parent, sibling, a friend or maybe a date? 

Of course, the decision to allow plus ones is yours to make. 

A good practice to gauge how much additional coverage you’ll need for the plus ones is to ask your guests to include their plus one in the RSVP. Alternatively, you can set a deadline, by which guests can inform you about an additional person.

Do you want coworkers at your wedding?

It may seem a right or courteous thing to invite some coworkers to your wedding. But that usually works best if you’re already good friends with them. If you just want to fill the quota or not seem rude, our advice is to best skip them.

What about distant family?

Remember those distant cousins we’ve met once when you were five years old? Not really? That’s ok! Yes, they’re family, but you also don’t really know too much about them as people.

If family ties, however distant, are important to you, opt for having all your faraway cousins invited. It might be a great occasion to reconnect! If that’s not the case, skip them when filing out invitations.

Don’t cave in to the pressure!

Nowadays you can see videos and images of massive weddings with a single click. You can hear stories from friends or them attending lavish receptions. Finally, your family can eat your ear off trying to make you invite that aunt and uncle you don’t really like, but it would be rude not to invite them!

It can go the other way around, too. You might want a big wedding, but people close to you might want to convince you to pick a more budget-friendly option.

Keep in mind that it’s your wedding and you get to decide the guest list. On this very special day, everything should be the way you want it, so that you and your guests can build memories that will last a lifetime!

What if I don’t want to narrow my wedding guest list?

If you want a lot of guests at your wedding, but are afraid of overstepping your budget, there are some things you can do:

1. Take on the DIY approach – Do-It-Yourself is all the rage now and it will make for some cute and adorable decorations.
2. Go for a rented or second-hand wedding dress – Just like DIY, second-hand and sustainability are in now. And like, why would you potentially spend thousands of dollars on something you’ll most likely only wear once?
3. Consider a non-traditional venue – While it may seem obvious to go for a big event hall, you can look into less expensive options. For example, your garden, a beach, or a park.
4. Choose an off-season period or a weekday – Everybody wants a summertime wedding on a weekend. Take advantage of that and book outside of that.
5. Cut down on wedding photography costs – With PartyMeister, each of your wedding guests becomes a wedding photographer!